It all feels surreal still. I slept ok the night before, but had noticed that I wasn't eating much that day. The next morning, I woke up and my mom had supplied me with a big cup of Whataburger coffee and some kolaches (not the European kind of kolaches. Texas kolaches are typically filled with a meat like ham or sausage and cheese. Some places have different variations like potato, egg, and cheese; or egg and cheese.) and some donuts. I was only able to eat the kolache and drink the coffee. Setting up for the wedding was good and fun. I wanted my own decor so my sis, my bridesmaid, and myself decorated the tables. Then we got our hair and makeup done. It wasn't only until, like, maybe two hours before the wedding that I started to panic because my fake flowers weren't wrapped with ribbon and I hadn't finished my charm bracelet that I was going to wear, and my 6 yr old nephew was being whiny about wearing a tux and walking down the aisle an hour before the wedding. The flowers got wrapped, I put the most important charms on my bracelet, and my nephew got into his tux and walked with his mother, my maid-of-honor-sister, down the aisle.
Lol, I remember being a stickler about the time. I remember saying several times, "Someone is walking down at 5:30 and if not, I'm going to turn into a bridezilla and bitch." It was because I didn't want to pay additional fees to the officiant if I was late and I'm always late to everything else that I NEEDED to be on time for this. I got to the area where I needed to be and I was by myself for a minute and it was so quiet and nice... I felt sick to my stomach and I don't really feel like that about most things. I mean, I get motion sickness a lot and get nervous about performances or class speeches, but not to the point where I want to vomit. I also felt like a panic attack was about to come on. My breath was quick and shallow while my hands and arms were tingling. This wasn't because of cold feet or anything, I think it was because this was one of those life moments where you think to yourself, "Holy shit this is really happening. This is REALLY AND TRULY happening and you've been doing all this planning and last minute planning and everything comes down to this moment that you knew would happen but didn't know how it would happen." I took that quiet time to myself to calm down, say a prayer to the gods, collect my breath, enjoy the silence and come to terms that yeah, this is happening and I'm fucking happy that it finally is here. My father and bridesmaid walk in and I'm like, "Where is everyone else?"
They were on their way to the area. I remember seeing them all come, and they all went inside the line up area. My mother and brother-in-law were getting ready to go out as the last guests to arrive to the wedding. My step-father, Jesus, lol, wanted a picture like right as we were supposed to line up. He got one with me and my sister and it turned out pretty good. We're all smiles and posing just right one second and the next we are hustling to the doors, serious faces on. I'm still feeling sick. I ask my father jokingly if he wanted to throw up on his wedding day to my mom and he's like, "It's all good, everything is going to be okay."
And he was right. Everything worked out as planned, Z and I were introduced as man and wife to "Enter Sandman," and we danced all night long. Now, I am looking forward to married life and hopefully little ones.